1-Up Manhattan

  • shitake-infused rye
  • red vermouth
  • angostura bitters
  • fungal bitters

In an ice-filled shaker, mix 2 oz shitake-infused rye, 1 oz red vermouth, a dash of bitters. Kick turtle across room. Punch cabinet with fist. Strain shaker into chilled cocktail glass.

Garnish with a cherry-soaked crimini, and chocolate gold coin served on the side.

Tom Yum

  • 1 rum
  • 1 coconut milk
  • 1/4 lime
  • ponzu sauce
  • thai hot sauce
  • sliced ginger
  • oyster mushrooms

In an ice-filled shaker, mix 2 oz rum, 1 oz coconut milk, juice of 1 lime, dash of ponzu, dash of hot sauce, and a slice of ginger. Place 3-5 oyster mushrooms in a small clay pot. Strain ingredients over them.

Garnish with sliced ginger and a sprig of lemongrass.

Michelada Hongo

  • 12 oz beer
  • juice of 1 lemon (or lime)
  • 4-6 button mushrooms
  • Worcestershire sauce
  • soy sauce
  • Tabasco sauce
  • black pepper
  • salt

Fill a pint glass 1/3 with ice. Top with button mushrooms. Add 2 dashes Worcestershire, Tabasco, and soy sauce. Add dash pepper and salt. Squeeze in 1 half lemon and 1 half lime. Slowly fill glass with Mexican beer.

Dirty Shitake (aka: “Shitini”)

  • gin
  • dry vermouth
  • olive-shitake brine

Remove half the olives from a jar of olives. Fill with shitake mushrooms up to the top of the brine. Shake. Wait 2 days. While waiting, chill a martini glass.

Pour a small amount of vermouth in a chilled martini glass. Swirl around to coat the sides, pouring out the excess. Using a long toothpick or short skewer, make an olive-shitake kabob. Place in martini glass at a jaunty angle. Add a splash (to taste) of olive shitake brine.

In a shaker of ice, add 1/2 oz vermouth, 2 1/2 oz gin, one olive, one lump of brined shitake. Shake the crap out of it. Set shaker aside. Pause to briefly reflect on what we’ve done. Strain into glass.

Bloody Jesus and Mary Chain

  • vodka
  • tomato juice
  • fungal liquor
  • Worcestershire
  • Tabasco
  • horseradish
  • lime

Mix ingredients in jar. Garnish with a mashed up handful of unwashed wild mushrooms

Sing verse from “Mushroom” by Jesus and Mary Chain: “When I saw mushroom head / I was born and I was dead.”

Chug. Repeat until done.

To make this a cocktail a Bloody Krautrock, when half-finished with drink, scream “I’m gunna give my de-spair!” Then explain at length how the song “Mushroom” was actually recorded by Can in goddamn 1971 and the entire so-called canon of 80’s pop goth is a cheap distorted rip-off of people old enough to be their fathers, but they’re all old enough to be grandfathers now, so god, what’s even the point. Put celery stalk behind ear, chug rest of drink. Be careful not to get it on your turtleneck.

Irish Fairy Bomb

  • Irish stout
  • Irish cream
  • Irish whiskey
  • Irish mushroom

Find a mushroom with a large deep cap, preferably plucked from a fairy ring on an Irish moor. Carefully remove the stem of the mushroom as close as possible to the cap, creating a small shallow bowl.

Half-fill a rough-hewn stone bowl with Irish stout. Allow it to settle.

Fill mushroom with equal parts Irish cream and Irish whiskey.

Drop mushroom into the stout.

Drink as quickly as possible.

Toss bowl over left shoulder. Throw mushroom high into the air. Spin on your heel while saying in a clear, loud voice: “Iocfaidh mise don gach rud!” (“I will pay for everything!”).

Try to catch mushroom in your mouth as it falls. If you succeed, you must pay for everything. If you fail, a cat will eat you and the devil will eat the cat.